A Guide for Protesters
By Emily May and Ana Velasquez of the nonprofit organization, Right To Be (formerly Hollaback!)
Following the leak of a Supreme Court draft opinion showing that the court has voted to overturn Roe v. Wade, protests are growing across the country and the need for resources to protect and empower those who are speaking out against the erosion of women’s reproductive rights has become increasingly urgent.
Harassment and violence have always been a major concern for abortion clinics. A recent article in Ms. Magazine notes that the anti-abortion movement has a long history of terrorism, and argues the repeal will only make that worse. The National Abortion Federation reports that violence and death threats against abortion providers have dramatically increased in recent years, there was a rise in assaults and threats of harm, from 69 in 2016 to 254 in 2020.
The recent supreme court announcement has led to a rise in protests, and abortion clinics are bracing for protests, harassment, and violence, according to NBC News. Law enforcement officers have raised concerns about far-right calls for violence against pro-abortion groups planning protests. There have also been reports of violence in cities like Los Angeles, where a protest turned violent when a group of demonstrators clashed with police. And the tensions between abortion rights demonstrators and pro-life groups are expected to rise as we get closer to the official Supreme Court decision in late June.
Although there are never any easy solutions to violence, conflict de-escalation might be a useful tool to ensure hate and harassment don’t escalate. Conflict de-escalation requires patience, a willingness to listen, and an ability to see the humanity in everyone, even those we don’t agree with or who seek to hurt us. Right To Be, a nonprofit organization working to end harassment in all its forms, has developed a three-step approach to conflict de-escalation: Observe -Breathe-Connect.
However, the power of conflict de-escalation is limited. What is can do is help you calmly assess what’s happening, prioritize your safety, and determine if intervening is the best course of action. This will help keep you safer and out of violence in the short term, but it’s not going to be effective at changing the minds of others. The long-term violence of having your reproductive rights threatened, or even taken away, endures. And yet still, we can’t stop the cycle of violence if we don’t disrupt it.
First, observe and pay attention to others’ behavior as well as your own feelings. The most important consideration when de-escalating conflict is safety. Before proceeding in any situation of conflict, assess your surroundings, listen to your gut, and evaluate the situation. Ask yourself questions like:
- Am I comfortable engaging with someone who is already agitated, especially if I don’t know them?
- Can my identities put me at increased risk?
- Is there an easy escape route if things escalate? Familiarity with the venue in which the situation is happening can increase your sense of safety and help you make sure you can reach a safer place quickly if things escalate.
- Are you with people who have your back? Bystander intervention works best when there are other bystanders present to support, even if their only job is to look out for you, the person intervening directly. It is preferable to attend protests with people you know who can support you and act as bystanders in a moment of tension, but you may also have a chance to briefly make eye contact with a stranger who looks as concerned about the situation as you do.
Then, in step 2, take a moment to breathe, ground yourself and reflect on your own emotions at the moment. Ask yourself: how am I feeling right now?
You’re not alone if you are pissed off, confused and frustrated by having your reproductive rights threatened. But before you can de-escalate anyone else, you must de-escalate yourself. If you’re escalated, chances are your energy will be perceived, matched, or worse, exceeded.
Notice what is happening in your body and do the work to de-escalate yourself. One option can be box breathing (inhale for four seconds, pause for four, exhale for four, pause for four, and repeat). You can also try grounding exercises like putting your feet on the floor, and naming in your head three things you see, two things you can touch, and one thing you can hear. Acupuncturist Rachel Esquilin of Seven Seas Acupuncture recommends pulling your energy all the way in, close to you, and then slowly expanding it outward until you have a safe bubble of energy around you, supporting you.
Stay here until you feel calm and grounded. If you’re not able to get there — it’s ok. It just means that you’re not the right person to de-escalate the conflict. Find someone else who is, and support them through this process.
If you’re the right person to intervene, then you need to assess whether it is safe to connect with the counter-protester who is escalating into violence. Again, de-escalation of conflict will not change the minds of two opposing groups, but it can create opportunities for more open, understanding and empathetic dialogue.
Things to do when connecting:
- Ask the counter-protestors if they would like to have a conversation with you.
- Offer to walk somewhere less crowded
- Give them your undivided attention
- Ask clarifying and open-ended questions.
- Focus on their feelings, not their opinions.
- Validate what they’re feeling, even if you don’t agree or understand.
- Allow for silence in the conversation
Things not to do when connecting:
- Don’t threaten or demand compliance.
- Don’t argue
- Don’t be lengthy
- Don’t disregard their feelings
- Don’t become defensive or controlling
- Don’t belittle the other person
- Don’t placate the other person.
- If the person tries to engage you by making inflammatory remarks, ignore them and do not give them more attention. The key is to keep calm and avoid arguing, threatening, or acting defensively.
Conflict De-escalation will not end disagreements, but it can help someone escalating into violence see you as fully human. And in this moment where our humanity as people with uteruses feels utterly ignored, that’s a big deal.
To learn more, sign up for Right To Be’s free training on Conflict De-escalation in protest spaces on May 13, 2022 at 4:30p ET.
